When She Cries
by ComfortablyConfused
Summary: Do you see me? Do you realize that I'm not alright? Can you hear me? My second oneshot. Not the best summary either, but give it a chance please  ,  a songfic based on When She Cries by Britt Nicole. Rated K  for a tiny bit of blood. Enjoy  ,


Hey hey hey everyone, this is CC here, with a… ONESHOT! :D

… I know, I know… I should be working on my other three stories… but THE PLOT BUNNIES MADE ME DO IT I SWEAR D:

Anyways, like the summary says, this is a songfic, inspired by When She Cries by Britt Nicole. You might want to listen to that AFTER you read though, because I found that listening to it while writing didn't work…

**The first part of the fanfic is a rewrite of Kaien's death… it's long winded cause I got a bit carried away… so if you guys want to skip it, go ahead ^^; Just read the last sentence or so, because that part's important **

So, that said, enjoy ^,^

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor do I own When She Cries. All rights go to Britt Nicole, and Tite Kubo.

* * *

_Little girl terrified_

_She'd leave her room if only bruises would heal_

The three-person squad of Shinigami stood on a tree branch, looking down below. The man in the middle's face was serene, almost calm. His silver hair glinted slightly in the moonlight. To his left, was a man about the same height, and green eyes, that looked as if they normally would be clear and bright with laughter. But not tonight. Tonight, his eyes were stormy, filled with anger and hurt. His spiky black hair blended in with the night. And to the silver haired man's left, stood a small, petite, feminine figure. Her large violet blue eyes were wide, and showed that she was worried, and slightly frightened. Her pale skin glowed like a full moon, stunning against her shoulder length raven black hair. A single bang fell in the middle of her face, slicing a black line through the white moon. The black haired man shifted, and placed his hand on the hilt of his zanpakuto, drawing the attention of his two companions.

"Captain… permission to fight it alone?" The black haired man's face was taut, and upon closer scrutiny, had a gaunt, determined expression. The girl's eyes widened more, and fear completely overtook her feature.

_Kaien-dono… what are you thinking?_

The man with silver hair, presumably his captain, didn't look surprised by this request. His serene expression slipped, replaced with something darker, slightly sorrowful, but his mind was set. He knew he right answer to give.

"… Permission granted."

Without a second thought, the black haired man, Kaien, jumped off the tree branch, and landed a few yards in front of the octopus-like hollow. His eyes darkened a degree more as he coldly stared at the creature, which did nothing but smile.

"Heeheehee! So you're the first, eh brat?" it cackled.

The girl with the face like a full white moon clenched her fist and leaned forwards. More than anything, she wished to run to Kaien's side, and help him fight the hollow. But her captain had never allowed her to go to Kaien's side.

"Before we start… I just wish to know one thing."

Everyone's eyes followed Kaien, as he stood up from his crouch.

"Up to now… how many Shinigami have you eaten?"

_Kaien-dono… what are you asking?_

"Heehee I don't know… I don't really keep track," the hollow shrugged.

"Have you ever… felt sorrow or regret for killing?" Kaien pressed further.

For a few moments, the night was, once again, silent. A light breeze passed through the trees, and nobody dared to speak. The girl's heart beat faster and faster. Finally, the hollow shifted, and cackled once again.

"What a stupid question… I too, have a heart like you. Thus, there are nights when I feel regretful about the Shinigami I ate. Even now I feel. Especially about that Shinigami woman I ate last night!"

The girl's heartbeat reached an insane speed, and below, Kaien raised his head a little more, at mention of the 'woman last night'.

"I DIDN'T EAT HER HEAD OR TORSO! I REALLY REGRET NOT DOING THAT NOW!" The hollow screeched, and trailed off into insane, malicious laughter.

The girl's stomach turned, and she repressed the urge to vomit. How dare the hollow speak of Miyako, Kaien's wife, in that manner?

_It is a hollow… it knows no better than that._

Kaien had stopped moving completely, almost as if he had been turned to stone. The only sound that filled the clearing was the sound of the hollow's high-pitched, insane laughter. Kaien glanced at the hollow, and his mouth moved, forming two quiet, but perfectly perceptible words.

"I see."

In the same second, he was gone, already halfway across the clearing, charging at the hollow, zanpakuto unsheathed. The hollow sat up straight, its tentacles waving around, surely in anticipation of what it had decided would be it's next meal.

A long slash appeared along the hollow's side, and it's blood exploded outwards, like a sickening blackish red fountain. A hand grabbed one of its tentacles, and Kaien appeared, a fierce scowl on his face.

"REVERSE SWIRL, MEJIBANA!" Kaien growled, as he swung his sword and activated his Shikai. Just as his sword was about to touch the tentacle, at the very last minute, the sharp sound of shattering metal resonated through the air, and his zanpakuto broke. Kaien's eyes widened in shock, as everything but the hilt faded away.

"Heeheehee! Your good! But not good enough~" The hollow sang in a sickly sweet tone, "Because each night, the first Shinigami that touches my tentacles will lose… his zanpakuto!"

A wave of tentacles shot out of the hollow, and hit Kaien full force, throwing him across the clearing, into the trees around it.

"KAIEN-DONO!" the girl screamed as she unsheathed her sword, jumped off the branch, and raced towards the struggling man. A slim hand placed itself firmly on her shoulder, preventing her from moving anywhere.

"Ukitake-taichou pl-please let go of me!" she begged, her face marred by raw fear and worry. "Kaien-dono, if we don't help Kaien-dono he… he will-"

"If we help him right now," the silver haired man, Ukitake Juushiro, interrupted her mid-sentence, "what will become of his pride?"

Rukia froze, her body no longer able to keep up with the thoughts racing through her head.

"Surely, if you interfere right now, his life shall be saved. However, in doing so, you will have destroyed his pride."

"Pride is not important, in comparison to life!" she argued, her voice shaking from the tears that wanted to overflow at that very moment.

"Remember this… there are two types of fights. Whenever we are in battle, we must be one of the two. The fight to defend life or the fight…" Ukitake's fists clenched, and his serene mask completely slipped away, showing the pain he was hiding underneath, "to defend pride."

The girl was silent, unable to think of anything to say to this. Her face had drained of any color it had, making it look unhealthy and pale, unlike the full moon it had been when they had first arrived at the clearing.

"Right now…" Ukitake continued, "Kaien is fighting for pride. His wife's pride, his men's pride, but most importantly…"

They both watched as Kaien leaped on to the hollow's back, using his bare hands to rip it's tentacles off as quickly as he could. The hollow thrashed, still unable to shake him off.

"Most importantly… he is fighting for _his_ pride."

The two, captain and subordinate, watched as the man with the clear green eyes struggled to win against the hollow that had killed the men he had been in charge of, and his wife. Kaien's face was streaked with the hollow's blood, and the expression on his face was one that neither had seen unless he was fiercely protecting what was most important to him.

"Dismiss this as his natural stubbornness, and let him fight on like this alone," Ukitake said quietly.

The girl's face drew in on itself, and the shadows around her eyes deepened a little bit more. Slowly, going against everything her instincts had been screaming at her to do, she sheathed her zanpakuto, and stepped back.

The hollow finally managed to throw Kaien off, who landed on his feet on the grassy area of the clearing.

"Your not bad, brat," the hollow grumbled, "being able to put up a fight without your soul cutter for this long. "

"Of course!" Kaien grinned, "Against a low level hollow like you, all I need is kido to finish what I started."

"Oh dear… such arrogance," the hollow sighed. "Well, I wasn't planning to use this because of last night, but… since you underestimated me… I HAVE NO CHOICE!"

A mass of thin, tendon-like tentacles shot out from the creature, too quickly for Kaien to dodge. He threw up his left hand to block, but the tentacles sunk through it, embedding themselves into his veins.

"K-Kaien… Kaien-dono?" Rukia gasped, her voice barely passing above a faint whisper. Kaien slowly turned around, showing his eyes, which now had odd white masklike markings spiraling around them. His eyes had turned completely black, just empty voids where pupils had once been.

"Yes… you called?" He asked in a strangely twisted version of his old voice, staring directly at the girl "ojou-san*?"

The girl broke into a cold sweat, unable to move an inch the moment she looked into Kaien's mutated eyes. A long, tattooed tongue slid out of Kaien's mouth, breaking the girl out of her trance.

"Kai… Kaien-dono…" she stuttered, swaying backwards on the tree branch.

"Why… do you keep saying my name?" Kaien… or the thing possessing Kaien wondered, "Are you that worried about me, ojou-san*? Is my safety that important to you?"

The girl said nothing, just stood there, trying to process what had just happened.

_Kaien-dono… Kaien-dono… is a hollow?_

"Well then if that is so…"

The thing that was now Kaien turned around fully to grin maniacally at her, "THEN LET ME EAT YOU!"

It… no longer Kaien, but it, launched itself towards her, it's mouth wide open, saliva dripping in anticipation for it's first Shinigami meal in this form.

The next few moments were like a blur. Ukitake sprinted in front of the girl, blocking the thing with his sword, ordering her to run. The thing pushed itself away from Ukitake's blade and tried to go after her, finally managing to get past him when he had a sudden coughing fit. The girl turned back, to help Ukitake, only to see the thing sprinting towards her, with every intention of ripping her apart.

"KILL IT, IT IS NO LONGER KAIEN!" Ukitake shouted in between coughs.

_It is no longer Kaien-dono…_

The thing had already closed half the distance towards her.

_Kill it…_

It was only a few yards away now… she unsheathed her zanpakuto

_Don't hesitate to do this…_

She placed both her hands on the hilt of her zanpakuto, and held it in front of her, pointed towards the creature that was now right in front of her.

_BECAUSE THIS IS NOT KAIEN-DONO!_

Her sword slid into Kaien's body with the dull sound of flesh being cut open, a sound that she was sure she would remember for the rest of her life. Kaien's body collapsed on top of her, and she fell to her knees, feeling drops of his blood splash on to her face, mixing in with her tears. She closed her eyes, and allowed another tear to escape.

"T-thank… you,"

Her eyes flew open at the sound of his voice, and she felt his arm gently envelope her in a comforting embrace.

"Because you did this… I can… leave my heart… to you."

"K-Kaien-dono…" she sobbed.

"Thank you… "

* * *

"KAIEN-DONO!" Rukia screamed, almost falling out of her small bed in the closet. The glow-in-the-dark Chappy clock on the wall showed her that it was three in the morning.

"… Just a dream," she sighed, and drew her knees to her chest, curling into the corner of the closet. The door slid open, to reveal a scowling carrot top, who had clearly been fast asleep seconds before.

"Oi, keep it down, will ya midget? It's three in the freaking… " his eyes widened when he saw her.

"Rukia… you okay?"

_No, no I'm not._

"Pfft. Stupid Strawberry, of course I'm okay," Rukia scoffed and quickly laid back down on her pile of blankets.

"Rukia…" he sighed, hesitated, and shook his head. "Well… g'night… or morning." He shut her closet door, and a second later, she could hear his old bed creak.

"It's January 14th…" Rukia realized, "It's my birthday…"

* * *

"Rukia…"

Rukia glanced up at her brother from her kneeling position in front of his desk.

"Yes Nii-sama?" she asked dully, emotionlessly. The fear for her brother was still there, but it was muted. So much farther away compared to the pain she felt right now.

"I was told of Shiba-fukutaichou's rather unfortunate demise," Byakuya signed a paper emotionlessly, and moved on to the next pile.

"Despite this, you are to continue to train under Ukitake-taichou. Do not lose yourself in mourning. We Kuchiki's have no room for such spare thoughts. Do you understand?"

_No. Do you see me, Nii-sama? Do you know why my eyes are so red in the morning? Do you see me?_

Rukia's eyes, already flat, darkened and turned completely dead, with no traces of violet left behind. Ignoring the clenching feeling in her chest, she stared at her hands and recited in a monotone.

"As you wish, Nii-sama."

_A home is no place to hide_

_Her heart is breaking from the pain that she feels_

* * *

"Kuchiki Rukia, you are to depart for Karakura town tomorrow, as a substitute for the resident Shinigami."

"Yes Ukitake-fukutaichou."

"Rukia…"

Rukia glanced up at her captain, and immediately wished he hadn't. He had long since been able to see past her barriers.

"Have you told your brother about this yet?"

"No sir…" she hesitated, "I didn't think he would wish to be bothered by such trivial matters, so I chose not to inform him."

For a few moments, Ukitake was silent, contemplatively thinking. Finally, he smiled, as if he hadn't seen anything wrong in the first place.

"It's alright, Kuchiki. I'll inform him myself."

_Every day's the same_

_She fights to find her way_

_She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray_

"Goodbye, Rukia," Ukitake smiled, and patted her head. Rukia nodded, and silently stepped into the Senkaimon.

"Kaien-dono… would you be proud to know that I am going on this mission?" she wondered, as she stepped into Karakura.

_She wonders why, does anyone ever hear her when she cries?_

* * *

"Happy birthday Rukia!"

"Oh…" Rukia's eyes widened in realization as she processed the words. "Oh yeah… it's my birthday… thank you… Yuzu."

"I think I'll make a cake!" Yuzu exclaimed, "it can be chocolate, with maybe some strawberries on it and oh this'll be so FUN!" She dashed off into the kitchen, leaving Rukia to sink back into her own thoughts.

_Today she's turning sixteen._

_Everyone singing, but she can't seem to smile_

_They never get past arms length_

_How could they act like everything is alright?_

"Rukia, is celebrating your birthday really that much of a foreign concept to you?" Karin rolled her eyes as she came downstairs.

"No… it's just… I haven't celebrated something like this in a while…" Rukia smiled sadly. How long had it been since she'd last celebrated her birthday? How many years? Fifty?

"I see…" Karin decided not to press any further. "Make sure Ichi-nii wakes up soon, before old goat face at the very least," she called lazily over her shoulder.

"Yeah… sure Karin." Rukia nodded absentmindedly. Karin rolled her eyes, and left.

_This is the dark before the dawn_

_The storm before the peace_

"Happy birthday Rukia!"

"Happy birthday Kuchiki…"

"Mmph."

"OHHHH KUCHIKI-SAN YOUR PROGRESSION TO ANOTHER YEAR OF AGE MAKES YOU EVEN MORE LOVELY!"

"Oi, Rukia…" Rukia sighed and spun around, the necessary words already on her lips. _Thank you for the birthday wishes I'm so happy you remembered and-_

"You've been spaced all day. You sick or something?" the same voice grunted from next to her.

"Oh… Ichigo…" she sighed. "I already told you I'm fine."

Ichigo stared at her for a moment, his amber eyes slightly unfathomable. Rukia shifted on the spot, coughed, and continued walking.

"It's not like you to mope you know…" Ichigo remarked as they neared the clinic. "And it helps that you're a terrible actor."

Rukia ignored him, and kept walking forward.

"Rukia… lately, you haven't been sleeping well."

She paused in her tracks, her violet blue eyes widening. Ichigo stood behind her, his usual scowl pasted on his face, waiting expectantly.

"Don't think I haven't noticed. Che, stupid midget."

_Every day's the same_

_She fights to find her way_

_She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray_

"… Rukia?" Ichigo took a few steps forward, and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Oi Rukia… say something… your starting to scare me."

_Ichigo… he noticed…_

A small smile spread on Rukia's face. "Fool. Your dumb Strawberry ass has clearly been hallucinating. I think Renji's idiocy is getting to you," she scoffed, and kicked Ichigo's shin.

"OWWW! EVIL MIDGET!" Ichigo groaned. Rukia laughed and began to walk away, traces of a smile still on her face. Behind her, Ichigo grumbled about his much-abused shins.

Rukia turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Come on Strawberry, if you want any of the cake."

"Why would I want a cake with freaking Chappy all over it?"

"WHY YOU! TAKE THAT BACK! APOLOGIZE TO CHAPPY!"

"OWW DEMON MIDGET THAT HURTS!"

_She'll be just fine._

* * *

"Happy birthday, happy birthday~" Yuzu hummed as she served the cake. Karin tossed Rukia a small package and grabbed a piece of cake. "Happy birthday Rukia," she nodded, and left.

"OH MY DEAR THIRD DAUGHTER HAS FINALLY BLOSSOMED INTO THE AGE OF ADULTHOOD! MAY YOU AND MY IDIOT SONG MAKE MANY GRANDBA-"

Isshin flew forward into the opposite wall, a footprint seared into his back. Ichigo stood behind him, scowling.

"Perverted old man…" he grumbled, and took a slice of cake as well, plopping himself down next to Rukia.

"I thought you didn't want to eat a Chappy cake," Rukia smirked.

"Cake is cake. I need my food." Ichigo shrugged, and took a bite. "Besides, Yuzu's cooking is amazing."

"Fat Strawberry. You'll go bald and get a pot-belly by the time your twenty."

Ichigo ignored her, and dropped two small Chappy hairclips into her lap, with small blue rhinestones as eyes.

A bright, beautiful blue, a little piece of light after a dark storm. Her little piece of light.

"Happy birthday, Rukia."

_Cause now he hears her…_

"Thanks… Ichigo."

_When she cries_.

* * *

Well… that was… absolutely horrible. Oh well, at least I got the song out of my head ^,^

I'm really sorry if I did too terrible a job… I'm running on sugar and only that at the moment ^^;

Read, Review, you guys know the drill xDD

Well, g'night ^,^


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